Chapter Ten: In which the story of creation is told, only better.

As luck would have it, the quest to expel boredom from the original kingdom was not going so well. Summer turned to Autumn and as time passed, YoungSoul began to day-dream, as YoungSouls often do. She dreamed she had magical powers, such as the ability to do fancy origami and meet friendly lions.

After a while even those daydreams were not enough, so YoungSoul began to recount a tale so treacherous, so wild, so insane that it would have seemed to most that she was just making shit up. It went a little like this:


Once upon a time, some 19 years ago, a girl named Ingreedo was born in a faraway kingdom. The Kingdom didn't really notice, because her parents weren't noble, they were just nice everyday folk, so Ingreedo felt as though nobody respected her. Because of this, she often went around with her pants around her knees. Take that, townspeople!

As Ingreedo grew she aquired two sidekicks by the names of JoJo and Asterisk Alcatraz. They were the kind of people who often got in the way and made Ingreedo want to set things on fire, but at the end of the day she had to love them, kinda like you have to love your brother or sister. Anyway, Ingreedo and her sidekicks got into a bunch of dastardly deeds, such as Bombing Pearl Harbor and Assassinating JFK and just generally being mean. But as they all grew older, they did some nice things too, like sweeping the floor, so it worked out pretty nicely and everyone still thought the Alcatraz kids would get into Heaven.

While all this was going on, Ingreedo was living a double life! At home she was sweet and kind, but at school she was quite the troublemaker.  The events that took place during this time period are top secret and therefore cannot be revealed, but let's just say Carmel Apples can be pretty fun so long as you're creative. And creative she was, seeing as she spent so long in various art schools around the kingdom.

*cough, cough*

Pine Forest Kid.

Fast forward a few years and Ingreedo was sad. She was very sad. Like, REALLY sad. Like, more sad than the time she got thwarted in her attempts to win the Space Race. And she would've gotten away with it too, if it  weren't for those meddling Russians! Sadly, this hatred of the Russian people eventually led to a rather odd love-hate relationship with a Russian fugitive by the name of Hugo.
But anyway, she was really sad.


She wondered what she was doing with her life. She wondered why no one loved or respected her enough. She wondered why there was no YoungSoul to match her ElderSoul. Why didn't she get a circle of life? She was better than a silly old lion king, after all.

Then one day, just as Ingreedo was at the end of her rope; ready to leave the evil world behind; on a day when not evil burning puppies or hypnotizing penguins would have cheered her up, she met a strange child named Leroux.

Leroux was crazy.

But she was a YoungSoul and she was the best Ingreedo was going to get. YoungSouls were hard to find in those days, because it was before China started mass-producing them. She took YoungSoul as her own and together they did many crazy things like loving a Spanish man with a wife and kids and jumping out of cars in the snow because Jay-See, a frustrating dictator hell-bent on taking over the kingdom, was being an ass.

Over the next year and a half, the Souls became braver and better, eventually embarking on a quest to expel evil from the kingdom.

And they all lived happily ever after. (Yeah right...Shows how much you know about Penguins!)

The beginning.